Hey my word press fam check this out, i thought it was a chem trail plane at first glance, but there is no visible plane😄!

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Some days, like this one, its so hard to stay. So unbelievably hard to be in this world feeling like my presence doesnt matter, feeling unheard and unseen. To not be acknowledged is to not matter. To not matter is to be irrelevant, not needed…useless.         To some degree it is the feeling of no love…to be unloved is to feel dead inside. Like no one would notice if you did not exsist, which would feel so much better not to be on this plane, yet the fact that your death would go unnoticed not only makes it hurt more, but theres a small tinge…well fuck youz if you don’t care. I care, I must care, because if I wait on someone else they may or may not show up. They may not even care the right way, or the way I need them too. If I wait for other or others for my self worth, I may not recognize it or see it or understand.              This Earth plane is tough, therefore I too must be. I need to save me, love me and value my presence. If I am the one I have been waiting to love me…why is it so hard? 

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I pulled from my archangel deck, looking for answers, perplexed by lifes complexity. As a child, I thought everything would be easier when I grew up…then I grew up. 

I realized the tools I had been given for life, could not help me build the life I desired. At first my answer was to give up, it was crazy hard to be in this crazy mean scary world anyway. My answer was to  cease being. That would stop my pain, but I did not want to be the source of more pain to my mother.

I began to search for answers and the tears began to flow. I often wondered how can one person that hasn’t been alive that long have so much pain. Now I wonder if it was all mine or if it was thought forms from the world i was just inadvertently experiencing. 

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This evening i came to write, to share a piece of me that usually lays back in the depths of of my soul just watching the world and it’s crazy going ons. This one has been hiding, afraid to come out, afraid to let on how hurtful the world has been since that might show weakness. Weeakness in a crazy world could bring on more pain, and that part could bare no more of that! 

Then i began to read some blogs…beautiful honest words. Truths that could be seen as weakness…but yet they were welcoming…they were familiar…they were empowering.

Thank you for all your lovely truths and musings…you all truly show me how we are way more similar than we are different.

Blessings…One.

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